I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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