i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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