My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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