No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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