hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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