I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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