the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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