Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
