Can Purell be used as lube?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hippo gnu deer
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
