OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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