It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
