Will you blow on my dice?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
