is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
