sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
