Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
