ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
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I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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