Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize