I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
