Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?