Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me