Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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