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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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• (619): View more from California

  i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?

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• (909): View more from California

  I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants

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