all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
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hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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