Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
In America we eat man semen.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed