don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning