Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

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  (504): As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them. http://tfl.nu/apo9
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (3788) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

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  (702): His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding. http://tfl.nu/4b44
  Replies (16) Good night (8209) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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  (740): So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot? http://tfl.nu/xzhr
  Replies (16) Good night (4343) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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  (404): He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying http://tfl.nu/0ccm
  Replies (8) Good night (3160) Bad night (3916) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.

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  (240): Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle. http://tfl.nu/z4p0
  Replies (4) Good night (2017) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.

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  (804): At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution. http://tfl.nu/lsuu
  Replies (12) Good night (3353) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?

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  (360): True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not? http://tfl.nu/5au2
  Replies (4) Good night (2092) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (2818) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...

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  (713): He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate... http://tfl.nu/djvz
  Replies (5) Good night (744) Bad night (2073) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out

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  (757): I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures... (757): I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out http://tfl.nu/xej3
  Replies (6) Good night (2252) Bad night (531)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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  (319): Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped http://tfl.nu/i5o2
  Replies (33) Good night (1260) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards

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  (347): When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards http://tfl.nu/auk4
  Replies (10) Good night (1351) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.

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  (567): Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho. http://tfl.nu/6eue
  Replies (2) Good night (1516) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.

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  (480): I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups. http://tfl.nu/acv0
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

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  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt

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