So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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