I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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