spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
farters have to be the big spoon...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
