I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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