tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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