he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
