And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
