You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
