I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
