Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
