Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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