All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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