Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
