Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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