Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
