i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
