May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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