Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
