no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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