Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
