Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize