I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
