I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
