I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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