I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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