You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
