I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
