whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
