Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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