It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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