Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
