You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
