take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
