I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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