Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize