he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
