the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
