So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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