You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
