Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
