Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
