I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
