I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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