I can text with my tongue
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
