I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
