they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
