You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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