I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
