could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize